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May 21, 2011 is ANOTHER date that is said to be when Jesus returns to Earth to take the believers (the straight ones anyway) to the kingdom of heaven and to wreak havoc on the rest of us! We, at EvolveFISH, have posted a challenge to those preparing for that day to post-date a check to charity. For more details on this challenge click here. Below are some fabulous products that will make wonderful gifts for those folks when they wake up in the morning of May 22, 2011! |
Rapture: October 21, 2011 Thank God! All The Christians Are Gone!$20.00 Well, May 21, 2011 has come and gone and unfortunately the Christians weren't raptured! But thanks to the wise Harold Camping we have another date to look forward to, October 21, 2011! Wear this shirt to let all the Christians know that they will not be missed(come the rapture, that is)! |
Jesus is Coming Look Busy Button$2.00 Jesus is Coming Look Busy Button. Dia: 1-1/4" (3.2cm). Freethought humorous button. |
Jesus is Coming On Three... Surprise button$2.00 Jesus is coming. On three, everyone yell 'Surprise!' Freethought button. |
He's Your God, They're Your Rules Sticker$2.00 This sticker is guaranteed to turn the rapture into a rupture! Dimensions: 12" x 3" (30.5cm x 7.6cm) |
Come The Rapture, Can I Have Your Car StickerAvailable as a regular size sticker (11 inches/ 28cm) or as a mini-sticker (4.7 inches/ 12cm). Freethought liberal humorous sticker. Mini-CR $1.50 Full-Size $2.00 |
God's Love Sucks! sticker$2.00 God's Love Sucks! sticker. Stick this one on Ted Haggard's red Chevy truck, if you can find him! 6-1/4" x 3" freethought liberal humorous sticker. |
Devil Magnetic Personality Finger Puppet$6.00 Turn your idle hands into the Devil's workshop with this Devil finger puppet! On your finger, he's a puppet; on your fridge, he's a magnet! |
AtoneMints$3.00 These are deliciously strong peppermints in a cute little tin. Get a fresh minty flavor from these gourmet mints. Tin measures 1-3/4 x 1-3/4 x 1/2 inches (4.45 x 4.45 x 1.27 cm). |
Sin-O-Mints$3.00 As of Dec.20,2011, we are out of these. Should have more by January (OOS). Deliciously strong cinnamon flavored mints in an amusing and reusable tin. Tin dimensions: 1-3/4 x 1-3/4 x 1/2 inches (4.45 x 4.45 x 1.27 cm) tin. |
Last Supper After Dinner Mints$3.00 Last Supper After Dinner Mints! These marvellously mighty mints are perfect for cleansing your mouth of the bad taste left by religion - or even beer & pizza! Tin measures: 3" x 1-1/4" Contains approx. 100 mints. |
Messiah Mints$3.00 Holy fresh breath, here's that Jesus fella again - and this time he's spreading minty freshness into the mouths of the masses. He can't feed the 5,000 with this cute little tin of peppermints, but you'll feel a whole lot better after your hearty banquet of fish and loaves! |
God Protect Me From Your Followers Oval sticker$2.00 Dimensions: 5" x 3-1/4" inches (12.7cm x 8.3cm). Freethought liberal humorous sticker. |
God Protect Me From Your Followers 11" x 3" sticker$2.00 God Protect Me From Your Followers 11" x 3" sticker. If it wasn't for religion and its millions of slaves, wouldn't the world be a much more peaceful place? Dimensions: 5" x 3-1/4" inches (12.7cm x 8.3cm). |
God Protect Me From Your Followers Button$2.00 God Protect Me From Your Followers button. Dia: 1-1/2" (3.8cm). Political freethought button. |
Have You Threatened Your Children With Eternal Damnation Today? button$2.00 Have You Threatened Your Children With Eternal Damnation Today? button. Because unless your kids are living in a climate of constant fear, how will they ever grow up to be normal and rational? They won't even look forward to being dead, like real Christian kids! Diameter: 1-1/4" |
Have You Threatened Your Children With Eternal Damnation Today? oval sticker$2.50 Have You Threatened Your Children With Eternal Damnation Today? oval sticker. Well, it's one easy way to get the little horrors to clean up their rooms! Dimensions: 7" x 3-1/2" |
Have You Threatened Your Children With Eternal Damnation Today? magnet$3.90 Have You Threatened Your Children With Eternal Damnation Today? magnet. Because kids just love to hear that warm, cuddly, "You're going to burn forever in a lake of fire" stuff. In fact, there is no better way of expressing our unconditional love for them! Dimensions 3" x 2" |
Jesus Isn't Coming He's Just Breathing Heavy sticker$2.00 Jesus Isn't Coming He's Just Breathing Heavy sticker. A second coming - only 2,000 years after the first? Sounds like he needs more Viagra than Rush Limbaugh. We're still cleaning up the unholy mess left behind from his last visit. Dimensions: 10-1/2" x 3" |
Gods Don't Kill People. People with Gods kill People magnet$3.90 Gods Don't Kill People. People with Gods kill People magnet. And who invented those gods in the first place? Hmmm, the human race might just be its own worst enemy sometimes. Dimensions: 3" x 2" |
Gods Don't Kill People; People With Gods Kill People, Button$2.00 ...and often in the name of their god(s). Diameter: 1 1/4". |
God Is Coming Button$2.00 God Is Coming and is she Pissed button. Dia: 1-3/4" (4.5cm). Humorous freethought button. |
God is Coming And Is She Pissed Sticker$2.00 Freethought liberal humorous sticker. |
Have You Threatened Your Children...Shirt$18.00 Have You Threatened Your Children with Eternal Damnation Today? T-Shirt. A happy reminder that if we're not terrifying children with a vengeful god who is going to sentence them to an eternity of pain and suffering if they misbehave or don't believe, we're not being good parents! Black shirt with damning red text and flames. Available in sizes Small-5XL. |
Playing Gods: The Game
$35.99 This game is a staff favorite, and is great for those New Year's Eve parties! (Hint: Read instructions prior to any festive spirit imbibing!) The earthly and divine realms meet in Playing Gods. Whether wreaking disasters of biblical proportions on innocent populations or bestowing providence and goodwill, the gods have ever made sport and pawns of mankind. Though possessing vast powers, the gods are jealous. Other gods, with their minor miracles and ridiculous rituals, diminish the glory and importance of the one true god – or so each of them believes! Click on the image for more details. For 2 - 5 players, ages 14 and up. Click here to view the Expansion pack, which includes even more attacks and blasphemous fun. You can also see the Limited Edition Deluxe Deities available here. |
Rapture Pet Care Services
$20.00 We at EvolveFISH have been called upon to fill a major void in the soon-to-occur Rapture reality. While millions of god fearing christians are going to be rapture into the heavens to sit at the side of their almighty god, their poor helpless pets will be left behind. For a small fee, $20 per pet, we will find your beloved Fido a comfortable, safe home with one of our "Certified Atheist Pet Care Angels." Sadly, it is just a FACT that our sweet animal companions do not have souls, thereby excluding them from entering heaven with their owners. Since atheists will not be going anywhere either, we at EvolveFISH, have taken the initiative to pair the two unholys! You can go to bed on May 20th (or any other Rapture threshold) knowing that we are here to give your dog, cat, fish, bird, horse, snake, hedgehog, or caterpillar, a loving home. The "atheist angel" will care for your animals until Jesus finishs off Satan, or when the world will be ending, or until you return for the promised 1,000 years of peace! (Which ever version your preacher believes. We will provide you with the names of Certificed Atheist Pet Care Angels and a certificate to show your friends! It is important to note that we will not be providing the actual pet care, just the service of finding a good Atheist, Humanist, Pagan, or non-believer caregiver. All the specifics needed for the care of your companion animal will be worked out with your Atheist Angel. If you are one of the sinful atheists that would like to get registered as a "Pet Care Angel" purchase that opinion below and we will "certify" you, and make you name available to Pet Owners. |
Rapture 2011 I Waited All Day For Jesus Boy Do I Feel Stupid Shirt$20.00 This is a hilarious shirt made to target those who actually believed that the end was coming May 21, 2011. Poke fun at the christians who sat around waiting for Jesus to take them to heaven! Seems they'll be waiting a little longer! |
Rapture: October 2011 Thank God! All The Christians Are Gone! Shirt $20.00 Thank God! If only the Rapture of 2011 were to really happen and Jesus could take all his crazy followers with him! Wear this hilarious shirt to express your longing to rid the world of these loonies! |
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