Let's not forget that Ted's role in the vast right wing conspiracy was as a Republican recruiter. He was not a man of god - he was a high-level Republican Party operative. Delivering the meek into the jaws of the GOP, rather than into the arms of 'Jesus'. Hypnotizing thousands of non-thinkers into voting against their own interests, he took $millions of their money and blew it... and snorted it too... A great all-American guy, and a fine example of those Republican 'Family Values'!
UPDATE: Feb 12. Ted's apparently been cured of all that icky closeted hypocrisy - in just 3 weeks! Remember when your dad caught you smoking, he made you smoke the whole pack? We hear rumors that Mrs Haggard bought a crate of Colgate for Ted last week...