"Soldier Bush BeansPlanting Instructions: Requisition $100+ billion worth of gardening equipment from Military Hardware store. Before planting, soften territory with extensive aerial and media bombardment. This invasive species thrives on nearby strategic crude oil reserves. Fertilize with patriotic fervor and leaked intelligence. Climate: Possible climate ranges from mountainous winters in Afghanistan (-25F/-32C) to summers in quagmire of Iraq (130F/54C), although this bean prefers the safety of Texas and may go AWOL rather than face real danger. Origins: Though appearing macho in camouflage suit, this bean originated in Royal French gardens where it was called ôRembourrer avec chausette,ö or ôPadded with a sock.ö
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