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Act-of-God Insurance Certificate Price: $5.00 Write a review | No reviews for this product.
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Suitable for Framing....An EvolveFISH insurance policy covers one non-christian fish emblem, purchased from us by the policy bearer, against acts of God or his emissaries. When God's mysterious ways lead to the destruction of your emblem, or if one of his loving, Christ-like, righteous minions remove or vandalize said emblem, EvolveFISH will replace the insured emblem for free. No prayers, no tithing, no lame excuses. Should an act of god befall your emblem, all you need to do is wrap up the damaged parts (if you have them - otherwise write a good story about what happened) enclose the certificate and mail it to us.

God has been credited with many acts, from the miraculous to the mundane. However, the one word usually associated with these acts is "mysterious" especially when large groups of people are killed or maimed in the process. Being a very adaptable species, human beings developed a method of dealing with God's mysteries: insurance. ..

Insurance comes in many forms. For ages God's believers sought a little extra insurance in gaining the things they wanted by saying prayers. However, since God works in mysterious ways, redeeming your insurance for a payout is always filled with uncertainty. God, and especially his suit-wearing minions in the pulpit, always expect people to pay premiums or tithes, yet the best they can do when you wish to cash in on your insurance is offer platitudes like "pray" and "have faith" or the tried and true "mysterious ways."

The folks at EvolveFISH believe the above method of insurance is unreasonable, unfair and appalling. So, in the free market spirit of competition, EvolveFISH offers an insurance policy you can count on. Forget the uncertainty involved with prayers, tithing and God's mysterious ways. Buy an insurance policy that protects your Fish emblems by actually paying up on your claim.

If only religion could offer something close. EvolveFISH: unlike religious claims, you can count on us.

Dimensions: 11 x 8-1/2 inches (27.9cm x 21.6cm).

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